"Resolute": Benjamin Hall on embracing the challenge of recovery
On March 14, 2022, Fox News correspondent Benjamin Ball and his crew, who were covering the war in Ukraine, traveled to the frontline town of Horenka with two Ukrainian soldiers, when their car was struck by Russian missiles.
"I reached for the door of the car, and I managed to get one foot out of the door," Hall said. "And then the third bomb hit the car itself. And I was out for, I'm not sure how long, but I woke up and I must be about 15, 20 feet from the car. I was on fire.
"I started to sort of gather where I was and what had happened. I was confused because I had no trousers or shoes on. I didn't quite figure out that it had burnt off. And, you know, my right foot had been largely blown off. And I can still sense what it was like – all the worries had gone. There was, like, one sole thing: survival. There was one thing: Get home."
He flagged down a car that drove him to a Ukrainian hospital. "That was the last I remember," he said. "I think I was just barely, barely alive at that point."
I asked, "When did you realize the extent of your injuries?"
"You know, I didn't," Hall said. "For example, the left foot I didn't really realize. It was only later that I saw a picture that was taken in hospital, which it just has a baseball-sized hole right in the middle of it and totally gone. But I didn't notice that. The leg obviously took most of my attention. I didn't know how badly I was burned. I had shrapnel in the eye, cut the eye in half. I was unaware of that. You know, I was bleeding from the head, but didn't know how much of my skull had been taken out. Nor did I even know that the thumb had been pulled off. It is an incredible place that your body goes to. You are in this survival mode."
He was the only survivor. Longtime Fox News cameraman Pierre Zakrzewski and local producer Sasha Kuvshynova were killed. With no space in the car, they'd decided to go without Fox's own security.
I asked, "You juggle a lot and adrenaline is pushing and you're up against deadlines. Were mistakes made?"
"No, I don't think so," Hall replied. "We have a routine that we follow. You know where you're going and talk about it as a team, and that's what we did that day. Look, Pierre and Sasha are dead. Do I want to reverse it? Do I want to go back? Would I bring them back for absolutely anything? Of course I would. That will be with me forever."
Hall documented the dramatic and tragic events in his book, "Saved," which details how Fox News helped get him on a train headed to the Polish border, where the U.S. military was waiting. "I was taken off that train at the other end, and there was this Blackhawk, 82nd Airborne. I felt I was absolutely saved."
The war correspondent, a dual U.K. and U.S. citizen, began chronicling his own battle. Hall's journey to recovery took him from Poland, to Germany, to Brooke Army Medical Center in Texas, ever-further from his wife, Alicia Meller, and their three daughters in London.
When "Sunday Morning" met the family last year, they were getting ready to welcome a new baby, and adjusting to a changed reality.
I asked Alicia, "Were there times that you were preparing for the very worst with him?"
"The first night that I got the call, I actually thought he was probably going to die, to be honest," she replied. "I think when this kind of a thing happens, you do expect, like, worst-case scenario, and you could be prepared for death. But I was not prepared for this. I have no experience with amputees or amputations or just the amount of surgeries that, you know, are involved with someone who has a blast injury. I had no idea."
"Until you're challenged with something, I don't think you always understand what you're capable of," she said, turning to her husband. "So, I think maybe you surprised yourself with your capabilities."
He's undergone around 40 surgeries, and hundreds of hours of physical therapy, writing about that, too, in a new book about the power of resilience. "Resolute: How We Humans Keep Finding Ways to Beat the Toughest Odds" will be published March 18.
"You suddenly are open to doing anything," said Hall. "And if a doctor comes in and says, 'We're putting leeches on that, we're going to take the thumb off, we're going to put your elbow onto it,' bring it on! Whatever you've got to do to get me home, to get me walking, to get me back to my kids, I will do it and I won't complain about it."
He's embraced the challenge, even his new mismatched eye. "The only lens they had left was blue," he said. "And they said, 'We can go find you a brown one.' And I said, 'Give me the David Bowie look, I want it, you know?' So, I love the eyes. And you know what? They're a conversation starter. And I love that."
"Why do you want people to ask about the injuries?" I asked.
"You know, I don't think I had spent much time before the injuries thinking about what it was like to be disabled. So, I guess I want to do it to help others feel natural about it."
On his first day back in the London bureau, he told Fox viewers, "I'm a strong believer that, if something knocks you down, you go away and you deal with it and you keep coming back."
Reminders of the tragedy are ever-present; Fox dedicated its bureau to Zakrzewski after the deadly attack.
Sasha Kuvshynova's parents are suing Fox News, claiming wrongful death in their lawsuit.
I asked Hall, "They've named you, your book, as perpetuating a story that they believe is a false story of how close you were, whether you should have been that close."
"Look, I came home to my family, I came home to my children; they lost their daughter. But when it comes to my book, I sat down within a few days and I started jotting down what happened. I wanted people to read about what happened, because I wanted to talk about Pierre and about Sasha and the amazing work they did, and the war, what we were covering. And so, the idea that the book is false in any sense isn't true in any bit."
"How was it to have your memoir named in this lawsuit, the allegation being that HarperCollins is a subsidiary of the same parent company, that somehow Fox is getting its story out through you?"
"Surprised, I suppose," Hall said. "I certainly didn't see it coming."
The ordeal has reordered his priorities – and family is more important ever. Asked if he thinks he's fully processed what happened, Hall replied, "Yeah, I have. Processing it doesn't mean that it's gone. Pierre and Sasha died. I don't want to totally process that. I always want to have that drive me. So, I'm happy to hold those burdens, you know? I feel like they're part of me now."
"How do you think about conflict reporting today?"
"Oh, more important than ever," said Hall. "I loved my career. I loved what I was doing, and I would take these injuries as a result of that. I would change it all to bring Pierre and Sasha back in a heartbeat. But I think it's the most important job in our field, to be honest. I think it's essential."
READ AN EXCERPT: "Resolute" by Benjamin Hall
For more info:
- "Resolute: How We Humans Keep Finding Ways to Beat the Toughest Odds" by Benjamin Hall (Harper Influence). In Hardcover, eBook and Audio formats, available March 18 via Bookshop.org, Barnes & Noble and Amazon
- Follow Benjamin Hall on Instagram
Story produced by Mikaela Bufano. Editor: Brian Robbins.
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